Simon Says
by IceyIggy
Summary: Surrounded in a toxic love environment, including her own father, Buttercup gets desperate and fakes a boyfriend! Everyone wants to meet him! Especially Butch, who plans on killing this guy! Until he finds out he's not real. Now how will Buttercup shut him up about it? And about that guy... BcXButch a little BlosXBrick BubXBoomer ProfesXMs. K
1. Get a room

Chapter 1 Get a room

It was** disgusting**. **Nasty**. **Foul**. There on the couch, was a make out party and Buttercup couldn't watch TV in peace with all those sounds, especially the moaning! It was driving her crazy and making her feel sick!

Finally she slap the remote on the table and snap "DAD! MS. K! GET OUT!" The two adults stop connecting lips and snapped out of their lustful fantasy. Blushing, they quickly let go of each other.

"Oh, Buttercup" The Professor spoke up "You're here?"

"Where else am I suppose to be? On the roof?" Buttercup exclaimed, still feeling sick "I've been here for the last three hours and you guys just walked in here and started getting fresh! In front of me!"

Ms. Keane started to fix herself up and then glanced at Buttercup, asking innocently "Buttercup, I thought you went out on a date?"

Those words stung Buttercup. **_Hard_**. Buttercup was a _dating_ virgin. Never had a boyfriend and spent almost every night at home watching her dad and teacher having their little "_moments_". While her sisters were out enjoying candle light dinners at a burger joint and having a night of romance.

"I'm going to bed now." Buttercup stood up, her anger waves show as she made her way up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Buttercup!" Ms. Keane called out.

"Make sure you take a bath, first!" The Professor reminded.

"Make sure you use _protection_!" Buttercup shot back with a smirk. Then she disappeared into her room and glued her headphones into her ears.

Around 10:30, Blossom and Bubbles came home. Not even the sound of Buttercup's music could tune out all the giggling and swooning going on down stairs. She pull her covers over her head and then heard her door slam open!

Before Buttercup could sit up the cover were yanked off her, exposing her black sports bra and green shorts. Buttercup shot up and look to see Butch standing in front of her bed with a wide grin on his face. He usually drives her sisters and his brothers around on their dates. For a fee of course. And sometimes, he would like to come check on his favorite green girl.

As she was trying to find the right curse words, Butch took a seat on her bed and said "I just came up here to see if you were sleeping."

"Were the lights being off and me laying in bed under the covers not enough to answer your question?!" Buttercup snap, snatching her headphones out of her ears. Butch scratch the back of his head and chuckled "You know me, I always need to get a closer look...and to make sure you were sleeping alone."

Buttercup's face redden and she felt her heat waves returning. She pointed towards the door "Out!"

"Fine, but" Butch paused, jumping on top of her and whispered into her ear as she tried to fight him off "one day, you'll want me in this spot beside you. The warmth from our bodies will collide as we become one in the night."

Buttercup started bucking "My blanket dose just fine, now go-"

"Buttercup!" Blossom's voice rang into her room "Are you-Oh!" Blossom paused as she saw her almost naked, sister and a grinning Butch. On top of each other. In a bed. Together.

"I guess you're getting paid, already Butch?" Blossom crossed her arms and smirk brightly at her blushing sister.

Buttercup knew she was getting the wrong picture but before she could explain anything Bubbles, Boomer and Brick came up the steps.

_That's when everything got better._

Buttercup spent the rest of the night trying to get everyone who wanted answers or were praising or high fiving Butch out of her room, so that she could just sleep!  
>Alone.<p>

Just the way she hated it.

**_Note: Hiya! Just thought you should know this story is base on my life, so it's like a true story but I'm not Buttercup or own any sports bras...okay...anyway XD tell me what you think in a REVIEW! Be honest and junk or you'll get Buttercups heat waves! _**

**_Bye!:)_**


	2. Now Thats a slap in the face

_**Chapter 2 Now that's a slap in the face**_

Buttercup bit her lips as the embarrassing feeling's crawl inside her whole body. It was an early, Sunday morning and she was sitting at the computer alone in her room. Her sisters were still sound asleep and The Professor still hadn't come back from taking Ms. Keane home.

She stuck out her tongue, trying to wipe the thought of those two from her mind. Though what she was looking at on her screen was far worse than them getting back in the groove.

"Am I really going to do this?" She rolled the mouse over to the video, that thumbnails a man and woman. Hovered over one another, skin on skin. Buttercup knew what they were about to do.

So, she clicked the video.

"Have you been looking for love in all the wrong places?" The man and women looked at the camera and nodded in agreement "Well look no more! _**At Life's a Bow and Cupids **_ we're sure to shoot you in right arms!"

Pictures of real people**(actors)** started to fill the screen, boring Buttercup with their life story and how this remarkable website changed their lives.

"We're so happy!" One man said, holding his _wife_.

"That's a load of bull." Buttercup stuck her tongue out, quickly leaving the website. She then could hear her sisters in the room across the hall, talking over each other about last night.

Yeah, she was jealous. How she had wanted to giggle, whisper, talk and (God forbid) swoon with her sister over a last night date. They had tried to set her up with Butch but Buttercup didn't approve. She just didn't think Butch was her peanut butter to his jelly. Though he had given her permission to eat him.

_Whatever that meant._

"Look at them!" Buttercup scoff, looking out the window she saw men and women set into this love trance, practically drooling over one another like a dog on a bone.

"...Why can't I have that?" She press her hands against the window and slid down. Watching as some of the towns people decorated the streets with red hearts and other crappy love stuff for February 14th. "Why does there have to be a day to remind me that I've been single for the last 16 years?! This makes me wanna protest. "

What was wrong with her? Why didn't any guy want her as their girl? She was near the definition of nice! Rarely beat people up (except Butch), she was average, medium hair and sometimes she took baths.

What guy wouldn't want all that?! Buttercup thought she was the whole package, yet, no one has wanted to open her.

Her phone then buzzed and she groaned once she read the caller Id.

_**Butch...answer then hang up.**_

She answered "This phone is going into investigation and we'd like if you not call back."

"Hm, okay" Buttercup sighed in relief, can't believing how easy he bought it. "I'll just have to stop by everyday-"

"What the hell do you want, Butch?" Buttercup slap herself. She just knew he was smirking on the other end. He said "Buttercup?! What are you doing out of jail so soon?"

"I killed everyone." Buttercup said flat, rolling her eyes as Butch chuckled "I'm loving the sympathy you got going."

"Well someone's using big words!" Buttercup said sarcastically, smacking her cheeks so loud Butch heard it "How about we hang up and I'll come over and give you a treat for your vocabulary?"

"Can't we just hit the shower? My tub is big enough for two bodies."

"Can't I just hit you? My fist is big enough to make two black eyes."

"Come on, Bc." Butch sigh annoyed. Buttercup lowered her eyes and sighed "Fine...I'll bring my CPR dummy and you can have your way with hi-I mean her."

"I was talking about something else." Butch sounded more serious, Buttercup could hear him tapping his fingers. She decided to let him talk then she would **_accidentally_** hang up.

"That is?"

"I'm taking you to the dance this Friday." Butch said in a firm tone like a judge, sentencing someone to court. Buttercup wasn't surprised, her sisters were behind this set up. And the walls are thin.

"Did you forget how to say _yes_?" Butch asked with a hint of an ego.

"Is this how you ask girls out? First you sexual harass them about taking a shower then you try to be some rough romantic?" Buttercup asked sarcastically, now wondering why was she even still talking to him "No wonder why you're still single."

"I have you know I got groupies from here to global!"

"So, the five years old live here and the global girls are far away from you? Yeah, you sound like a real pimp-"

"Buttercup, just say _yes_ already!" said a familiar voice. Buttercup glue her ear to her phone and gasped "Blossom? Is that you?"

"And me!" Giggled a voice "Hi Buttercup!" Buttercups eyes twitch "Who invited you on this line?!"

"I needed some back up." Butch said proudly "And they just wanted to be nosy. Anyway, so how about that _yes_?"

"Uh?"

"Want me to play some background music to help you think? I got Jeopardy!" Bubbles blurted out.

"No need to make the situation more intense." Buttercup bit her lip, a part of her really wanted to actually give Butch a chance. She was desperate but the other half of her just couldn't see Butch as the one.

But if she didn't go to the dance she might witness much worst then the make out scenes.

Then she looked over at her laptop and sighed on the phone "Okay."

"Really?!" Butch got excited as her sister squealed in delight. Then Buttercup squinted her eyes and blurted out "But I have to ask my boyfriend first!"

_And that's when everything got better._

_**Not:Hey! I just wanted to say, thanks so much for reading and reviewing and whatnot! I'm really am glad you're enjoying this story!Anyway, tell me what you think !**_

_**Chopsticks :)**_


	3. Butch came in like a Wrecking Ball

_**Chapter 3: Butch came in like a Wrecking Ball**_

Brick's and Boomer's shoulders jump at the sounds coming from the kitchen where Butch had been for the last hour.

**_BANG_**

"Hey, Butch?" Boomer called out nervous but innocently "Whatcha cooking in there?"

"Bull! It's a bunch of bull!" Butch snap and continued throwing things around in the kitchen.

"That sounds nasty. Why not just order some pizza?" Brick teased with a grin. Before Butch went to create_ Hell's Kitchen_, Blossom had updated Brick on her green sister's first love life.

"I just don't get it!" Butch march out of the redesigned kitchen. His black hair was monster style and his clothes were covered in tomatoes and gravy. "How could she NOT want me?!"

"Yeah, cause you look _SO_** hot** right now!" Brick said sarcastically, elbowing Boomer who caught on quick "Yeah, what the hell was she thinking?! No guy gets better than _YOU_!"

"I know!" Butch said proudly "Whoever this guy is, he needs to know that I, Butch Jojo, am the only man for her!" His brothers bite their tongues and nod in agreement, knowing how serious Butch was when it came to Buttercup.

_**His Buttercup.**_

"Matter of fact," Butch snatch his car keys off the table and headed towards the door "I'm going to have a talk with Buttercup and this newbie."

"Well at least change, first." Boomer said, Brick nodded. Butch paused at the door then ripped off his shirt with great force! Bricks eyes widen "Whoa! You're going over there like that?!"

"I want her to see ALL of my emotions. Including what she could've had!" Butch pointed to his six-pack then went out the door. Brick and Boomer look at each other for a moment then burst into laughter.

"...You wanna go see how this plays out?"

"Yeah but keep your shirt on."

(Buttercup's house)

Butch parked the car in the lawn. As he walked up to the house he noticed that his brothers were already there. Peeking through the living room window, chuckling to themselves. Butch got low beside them "What you guys looking at?"

"Oh, well" Bricks voice trailed off as he look worriedly at Boomer then at Butch, trying to block the way "You don't want to see."

"Why not?"

"It's nothing big." Boomer said, still looking "It just Buttercup making out-"

Suddenly, a Station Wagon went flying into the window! Brick and Boomer quickly back up as Butch went charging inside the home.

"STOP IT! YOU ANIM-" Butch paused his swearing once he saw a white faced Ms. Keane and a pissed off Professor. Laughter from his brothers was the background music and his real audience was pink, blue and green eyes upstairs.

"What the..Butch?!" The Professor was trying to control his anger. But how could he? All he wanted to do was to spend time with his girlfriend but the mood was a true wrecking ball. Or car.

"I thought you were Buttercup and her new boyfriend!"

"BUTCH! SHUT IT!" Buttercup snap, slapping herself. Oh, the consequences of liying. Couldn't she just have gotten a wooden nose? Not the living room crashed into by the family car where her dad and her teacher were connecting mouths?! And worse, Butch was shirtless?!

"Boyfriend?" Ms. Keane looked up at Buttercup "Like a boy that you date and do stuff with?"

"Not like the mailman-Of course a boyfriend!" Buttercup covered her face to only have her hands ripped off by Butch. His green eyes had flames of anger as he spoke "Where. Is. Your. Boyfriend?"

"Some place sane."

"I'm serious! I wanna talk to this guy!"

"Me too!"Blossom said as everyone else agreed. Buttercup felt twist inside her body. What could she say? This "guy" wasn't even real! But by the look of the damage down stairs it was too late to say there wasn't.

"What's his name?" Bubble asked with her hands together as Butch crossed his arms over his chest. Buttercup scratch the back of her head "Name? Uh...Simon?"

"Simon? You're going out with someone named Simon?!" Butch exclaimed as if Buttercup had told them she was dating a murder.

"Where did you meet him?" Blossom asked.

"...The sidewalk."

"What were you doing on the sidewalk?" Butch asked.

"Discovering flash dance." Buttercup lowered her eyes "I was taking a walk and bumped into him. We just clicked and stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Butch asked as if this was an interrogation. Buttercup rolled her eye "Talked. That's it, we're taking things slowly."

"Slow, huh?"

"Yes!"

"...I don't like this guy!"

"I don't like what you did to my living room!" The Professor yelled, still upset.

Butch glanced down stairs then back at Buttercup and with a determine look he said "I'll be here. Everyday. Until this living room is once again." Then he lean in near her ear and whispered "And if I see Simon, I'll be sure to give him a piece of my ball. My_** wrecking ball**_."

_And that's when everything got better._

Note: Butch came in like a wrecking ball...he crashed a car into the wall..and the Professor was like..OMG! Lmao! XD  
>Anyway, thanks for reviewing the last chapter and other stuff. So, tell me what you think of this?<p>

Oh and sing along if you know the words.

Chopsticks.


	4. Can we fix it? No

Chapter 4 Can we fixs it? No.

"Hm, so your the one?" It was a Monday afternoon and Butch was suppose to be working on the living room. Instead he was practicing harassing this Simon "You kiss her? I bet you don't even kiss her right. Such a virgin!" He pointed to the can of white paint.

Buttercup face palmed herself, she was watching from the stairs trying to finish her homework. But the only studying she was doing was on the Internet. With no going back on her lie and everyone desperate to meet Simon.

Whoever he was.

"Why me?" She put her left hand through her hair and scroll down threw the images. He couldn't be too perfect, Buttercup knew the reality of her with Prince Charming was as real as a dancing can of soup. And since soups don't dance, then she wasn't suppose to be with a Prince.

A blacksmith would have to do. Yeah, Simon would be a hard worker with good strength and a somewhat white smile. No mustache. He'd be the type she'd sneak to see at night, the one to be her competition, her bad boy though she or he would never mention it.

"I really shouldn't over think this too much." Buttercup said as she paused on an image. A guy with dark brown messy hair and eyes so raw, yet fangirl worthy. Before she could look any more she heard Butch coming up the steps.

"So, you look pretty intense right now." Butch said, getting annoyed. Buttercup put her phone down, leaning back against the step and said "You know, those splats of color of color really brings out your eyes."

"What color are Simons eyes?"

"Do you have an eye color fetes?" Buttercup joked, enjoying the annoyed Butch.

Which, she wanted to take advantage of.

"Well, it's like a rich green. The minute Simon targeted me with those heart stoppers, I wanted him to take me." She paused and winked "If ya know what I mean?"

Butch had something worse then heat waves. Though Buttercup could feel the stairs getting heated. Buttercup shrugged her shoulder and stood up "Well, I'm finish with you and not gonna do this homework, obviously. If Blossom or Bubbles ask where I am just tell them I'm sleeping."

He said nothing, just looking at her in a blank expression. Too bad Buttercup's back was turned to notice.

Once she entered her room and changed into her regular number t-shirt and black shorts, she flopped down on her bed, looking once more at "Simon".

"I sure know how to pick em-"

"Buttercup!" Butch slammed the door open. He marched over to her and jumped on top of the struggling girl and said "I don't believe you!"

"What?"

"I think you're liying! There's no way you have a boyfriend. You rarely leave your house!" Buttercup quit struggling as the feeling of trouble was about to write all over her face. Had he figured it so soon?

She had to think fast before he got his Detectives Degree. Though, there was only one thing to do.

"No."

"Please, Mitch?!" Buttercup was on her knees begging. Mitch was laid out on his worn couch. The place could be a truck stop hit repeatedly by a hurricane. It was the only way one could describe Mitch's place.

He had moved into his new apartment about a month ago and yet, he wonders why those rats are stilling living there.

"Look, I'm trying to stay away from women!"

"...Oh." Buttercup said slowly as Mitch quickly shook his head "No! I'm straight! It's just these girls I've been fooling with for the last three months are claiming that I'm the father."

"Are you?"

"I hope not." He sighed, rubbing the side of his face "Anywau, why don't you just tell the truth? Who cares if you lied!"

"Are you new here?" Buttercup half folded her eyes at him "The whole damn world will! My family lives and strikes on embarrassing me! Especially The Professor."

Mitch chuckled siting up "As many times as I walked in on him and my old teacher, I'll take back what I said."

"So, you'll do it?"

"My names not Simon, so no. But, maybe I could hook you up with a friend of mine. His name is Simon." Mitch said making Buttercup sigh in relief only to panic "Green eyes? Dose he have green eyes?!"

"Stop being so picky," Mitch said annoyed "take what you get. Besides, he'll only be here for Valentines day."

"Fine, I guess thats okay."

"Yeah, he'll do it," Mitch then bit his bottom lip and Buttercup watched his eyes look guilty. He then faced towards her and said "but I don't think his girlfriend will like it."

"And that's the one I knocked up."

And that's when everything got better.

Not: Okay, people I'm in a rush so I apologize for any mistakes. I will come back later to correct them but please read and review and whatnot! Tell me what you think?  
>Bye!<p>

Chopsticks:)


	5. Kissing Up Will Get You To Dinner

**Chapter 5 Kissing Up Will Get You To Dinner**

Butch was bothered. Not by the fact that he ruined his future girlfriend's wall or the fact that his future girlfriend's father wanted to hit him with a car. No, it was that fact that his future girlfriend had a present boyfriend.

Simon was standing in his and Buttercup's way of being together! He knew deep...way deep, like at the bottom of her foot that she loved him! She was just being shy in her way.

"I gotta get rid of him," Butch thought aloud at the dinner table. His brother rolled their eyes but wanted to be entertain so they let him keep on. "But how? If I kill him she'll hate me and I can't have her doing that!"

"Yeah, she likes you as much as the Professor likes you." Brick joked but he was too much in his thought to throw a fork in his eye. But something he said caught his attention.

The Professor.

"That's it..." He smiled the biggest smile. Boomer scartched his head but asked "What? The cure to fix your face?"

"No! The Professor! He's going to help me!"

"Yeah because he just owes you so much!"

"Sorry guys," Butch stood up, pushing his never eaten pizza back. "I got some phone calls to make!" He happily jogged up stairs leaving his brothers in question. But they only shrugged and continued eating the rest of their pizza.

(Up stairs)

"Come on, come on..." Butch said impatiently over the phone. Finally someone answered "Hello? Utorium residents."

Here it goes! All I gotta do is disguise my voice!

"*cough* *cough*..I was just calling to warn you about your daughters new boyfriend. He's a dangerous man who dose...dangerous things! With his hands! He's also sexist and a woman hater!" He spoke in a very deep voice but not enough to cover his own.

"...Butch is that you?"

"Damn- I mean NO! I'm not who you think I am! Just a normal guy trying to do the right thing!"

"Well you can start by fixing my wall! I kinda need it, you know? And don't call back here or I'll block you!"

"But- hello?! Ugh!" Butch threw his phone across the room and laid his head on his pillow. What was he gonna do now? Now the Professor hated him and not Simon! That's not what he had plan. Was he going to give up?

"I got another plan!" His head shot up and he went to grab his phone and started dialing some numbers.

(Buttercups house)

"Ugh, why hasn't this guy called me back yet?!" She sighed into her pillow. Mitch had given Simon her number, all he had to do was call her to let her know if he was in. But that was yesterday and Valentine Day was almost approaching.

"Maybe he has phone phobia?" Buttercup said almost slapping herself until the phone showed an unfamiliar number calling. Her eyes lite up as she quickly answered it "..."

"..."

"...Uh? Don't tell me this is a telemarketer!" Buttercup snapped.

"That's what I was thinking! That's why I didn't say anything!" A surfer voice filled her ears. Simon?

"Uh? Simon?"

"Sup?"

"Your friends with Mitch?"

"Yeah and a few other people. I'm a social dolphin!" He said proudly but Buttercup was left dumbfounded. Was this the best Mitch could do? But she was running out of time! It was dolphin boy or Butch and she didn't want Butch.

"Dose the Dolphin have green eyes?"

"Well I ate some seaweed and shit got real!"

Oh he's a keeper. Thanks Mitch.

"I'll take that as a yes- hey do you think we could meet?" She asked wanting to end the call ASAP. Simon hummed for a bit and clicked his tongue and chumped on what she hoped was chips. Then he finally said "Sure! Wanna I always wanted to go to Africa!"

"I'm in America..TownsVille?"

"That's what I said! Gee, be nice and listen to me." He sighed annoyed as Buttercup bit her tongue from saying anything.

"Right, so I'll meet you at my house? I'll pick you up at the station? Around 8 tonight?

"But I wanted to swim there-"

"ILL SEE YOU AT THE DAMN BUS STOP, OKAY?! BYE!" She quickly hung up the phone and fell on her bed. What has she gotten herself into? Maybe Mitch was right after all about her telling the truth.

"I thought I told you not to call back, Butch!"

Nevermind.

She slid off her bed and decided to go help her dad get rid of Butch. But when she got there she noticed that her dad was smiling. Maybe he was talking to someone else.

"You'd do that for me? Are you sure I don't have to pay anything? Wow, I guess I don't wanna kill you anymore Butch. Haha, yeah I hated your guts! But the fact you got someone to fix my wall and it's coming out of your pocket makes me wanna call you son!"

"What the hell?!" Buttercup shrieked making her dad face her with the smile still on his face. He said "Hey, Buttercup! Good news, Butch got someone else to fixs the wall! He even offered to come over and cook for us tonight!- Oh, what's that Butch? Hey, that's a great idea!"

Won't be that great when I kill him!

"What is?" She asked.

"Butch thinks you should bring your boyfriend over so everyone can meet him!" Buttercups face sank. She was waiting for that guy to come out and tell her she was in the Twlight Zone. She wasn't ready for her boyfriend to meet anyone yet! Butch was ruining everything!

"Uh, dad are you sure YOU want to meet him? Now?"

"Yeah, I wanna meet my daughters first boyfriend. I have to questions his intentions and threaten him not to get you knocked up." The Professor said in a matter of fact tone. She could hear Butch snickering over the phone.

"Right...may I talk to your new best friend?" Buttercup asked sweetly

"Sure, tell him to be here around 8:30." Her dad handed over the phone and walked away. Buttercup growled, she feel Butch smirking as if he was enjoying ruining her life.

"What are you up too, Butch?" She demanded.

"Tsk, tsk Bc. I'm just trying to do the right thing and help out your old man! No evil here." He said as if he was innocent and that upset Buttercup more.

"Why did you tell him to invite my..boyfriend?"

"I just wanna meet the man who makes you happy."

"That's a load of bull and you know it."

"What? I mean he's real_ isn't_ he?" Butch said slowly on the _real_ part out as if he already knew the truth.

"..Of course he is! Fine! Since you wanna meet him so bad come on over! Bring it!"

"Okay! You bring your date and I'll bring mine!"

**Note:I know it's short but it seemed like a good place to stop. So sorry lol XD**  
><strong>I already picked who his date will be but I'm curious to see who you think it is.<strong>

**Please review, I'd love to hear from you^^**

**Oh and sorry for being late!**

**Chopsticks**


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